Beautiful Doritos Chips For You

Our lineup of Doritos chips are evaluated through a hyper selective process to ensure the best quality chip you will ever taste.

OUR TRUSTED CUSTOMERS

Gordon Ramsay

Our Amazing Services

24/7 Support

We pay our representatives 200k a year to provide the best customer experience at anytime and anywhere.

Cheesiest

We pick only the cheesiest, cheddariest, and most seasoned chip from each Doritos bag and toss the rest.

Fast

We can ship a quality Doritos chip anywhere within 5 minutes or money back guaranteed.

Quality

We strictly evaluate each individual Doritos chip with our rigorous standards. Only the best is picked.

Evaluated and Selected by Chip Connoisseurs

Our chip connoisseurs are voluntarily given to us at birth and join our elite Chip Hypercritical Intellectual Protoge (CHIP) training. After 18 years, only 1 out of 1000 will succeed and join our elite team of Chip Connoisseurs, fit for picking chips. The failures move on to less impressive endeavors such as founding Google or joining the Navy SEALs.

Reasonable and Flexible Plans

We know you'll love our Doritos. We're so confident that we have a 1 year money back guaranteed. Even if you ate your Doritos chip. We're rich.

18 monthly payments

$80

Total Cost: $1440

12 monthly payments

$100

Total Cost: $1200

One time payment

$1000

Total Cost: $1000

Payment options are for 1 individual Doritos chip.

Our Clients Love Us

And you will too. Take a look at our celebrity testimonials. (;

Gordon Ramsay

Bloody f@$?ing hell, mate! They got some f$%@ing good chips! I'm a celebrity chef I should f*@$ing know!

Doja Cat

OMG. It's soooooooooOOOoooooo delicious! MmmmMMMmmmMMMmmmmmm. XD

Donald Trump

This is the best. The best. I know, folks. I know only the best things and this is the best chip. This company is going to be yuuuuuge.

Got Questions?
What qualities do you look for when selecting a Dorito chip?
The most cheesy, well seasoned, and perfect triangle shaped chip that is free of cracks.
Why does 1 Dorito chip cost so much?
It takes an immense amount of resources to train, feed, house, and educate a Chip Connoisseur. Not only do we prepare Chip Connoiseurs for picking chips, but we also equip them with the tools to succeed in life. Just look up Elon Musk, he is an alumni of our CHIP program. The costs are passed on to the consumer, you.
After selecting 1 chip do you really toss the rest of the Doritos bag?
Yes. We discard the rest by donating it to the homeless and we recycle the plastic Doritos bags. Jk, we just toss it outside the factory. Saving the environment isn't profitable.
Can anyone join your CHIP program?
Yes. As long as the individual starts before 1 year of age. Our rigorous program requires that we condition potential candidates as young as possible.